i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
