found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
