i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
