We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So squirting runs in the family.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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