I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
