i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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