hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
