two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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