Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
