Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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