hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
