when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
