he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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