I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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