The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
