The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
