So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize