Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
