Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
