he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
