I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
