RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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