Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
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Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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