halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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