some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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