Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
