There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
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