4 words: hood of his car
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
