Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
