great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize