ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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