I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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