I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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