Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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