he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just want to make out with him forever
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
