Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
