i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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