tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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