Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
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Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.