Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke

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(330): I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke http://tfl.nu/gn8s

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style

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(314): I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style http://tfl.nu/rcp4

Replies (104) Good night (9071) Bad night (585)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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(608): We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother. http://tfl.nu/gjr6

Replies (13) Good night (611) Bad night (4277) Order T-Shirt
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(856): View more from New Jersey

well most of my day revolves around power hour

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(856): well most of my day revolves around power hour http://tfl.nu/z7v2

Replies (6) Good night (3207) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't remember what your face looks like..

(727): View more from Florida

I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

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(248): I don't remember what your face looks like.. (727): I don't remember your face either, just your dick. http://tfl.nu/odit

Replies (19) Good night (6257) Bad night (810)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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(732): a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove. http://tfl.nu/qfpc

Replies (11) Good night (4193) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
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(941): View more from Florida

Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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(941): Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night? http://tfl.nu/uq24

Replies (18) Good night (5179) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.

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(678): doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life. http://tfl.nu/o38i

Replies (14) Good night (531) Bad night (1446) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume

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(248): I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume http://tfl.nu/d1bc

Replies (4) Good night (766) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

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(248): THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK http://tfl.nu/8so3

Replies (4) Good night (1071) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.

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(502): Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room. http://tfl.nu/s5zk

Replies (4) Good night (1395) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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(540): There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day. http://tfl.nu/ga2m

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.

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(901): Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/jvs2

Replies (7) Good night (477) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.

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(218): Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off. http://tfl.nu/vd2r

Replies (7) Good night (993) Bad night (446)
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(314): View more from Missouri

"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.

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(314): "Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it. http://tfl.nu/6fe1

Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (156)

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