whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.