idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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