i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
