Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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