just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
