i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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