Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize