Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
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If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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