when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize