Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
