are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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