that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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