So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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