My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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