Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
