4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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