i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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