What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
