hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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