these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
