I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
