Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize