She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
