Kiss
Puke
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
BRING THE BAGELS
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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