Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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